Mildred Patricia Baena PHOTO: Mother of Schwarzenegger's Love Child Has Nothing on Maria Shriver

Didn't take long for the tabloids to track down the identity of Schwarzenegger's former mistress: 50-year-old Mildred Patricia Baena, nicknamed "Patty," the family's housekeeper of 20 years (she just quit in January; good timing).

As for the love child himself -- a modern-day Hercules of sorts -- even RadarOnline isn't trashy enough to release his 10-year-old mug to the ruthless whims of the Internet, saying it "has decided not to identify Schwarzenegger's love child at this time and has obscured the young man's face in this photo of him and his mother."

Here's the censured Radar version:

RadarOnline

​So, given Baena's relative fugliness, her fling with Schwarzenegger obviously had more to do with his notorious levels of chest-pumping, spread-me-Austrian-seed testosterone than any edge his maid had over his wife. (A la Jude Law.)

Arnold's (alleged) little Hercules

​
TMZ is cutting Schwarzenegger a break, making Baena out to be quite the conniving seductress:

Sources tell TMZ -- in the late '90s Patty began to "pursue Arnold." She told friends they would have unprotected sex during the day at the house. Patty never slept overnight at the house and no one ever caught them in the act.

We're told when she became pregnant, she didn't tell Arnold he was the father. Arnold didn't learn he was the daddy until the boy was a toddler.

Patty -- who made $1,200 a week -- was treated well by Arnold once he found out. Sources say Arnold was always "generous."

Tammy Tousignant, other (alleged) baby mama

​

Tanner Tousignant, other (alleged) love child

​The Baena announcement also improves chances that Schwarzenegger is father to a second love child, whose baby mama is allegedly a blonde stewardess who served on the governator's private jet for 20 years. Sounds familiar. [Update: The stewardess says a paternity test has disproved that theory. But Gawker maintains that there are for sure two love children.]

Goddamn -- the Muscle Beach meathead turned elected leader of California (so embarrassing) has really outdone himself this time. And not in a good way. Dude makes Dominique Strauss-Kahn look like a gentleman.

KTLA reports that Baena lives a couple hours outside L.A. with the love child and her three other children, in a four-bedroom house with a pool. Not bad. CBS2 says it's in Bakersfield, and has already hauled ass out to the premises to ramble dramatically into gaudy news microphones and peer in windows and such.


We're pretty confused as to how Maria Shriver just found out about this kid. TMZ says "his features are eerily like Arnold's ... especially the mouth and teeth" (poor kid). Shriver has historically stood by her husband during other perv scandals with shameless amounts of evidence; namely, the Times' humiliating groping series.

So she's either been blind, in denial or didn't think coming to terms with the truth was worth ruining those picture-perfect his and hers political careers. As of last night, though, that's all out the window.

Shriver's last word:

"As a mother my concern is for the children. I ask for compassion, respect and privacy as my children and I try to rebuild our lives and heal. I will have no further comment."

Not much else you can say, as soon-to-be ex-wife of The Inseminator. Our condolences.

Update: The most enlightening piece we've read on the love-child saga so far is by the Times investigator behind the 2003 interviews with women who claimed they'd been groped by Schwarzenegger. She relays her frustration that powerful men are able to get away with such hardcore degradation of women, from sexual harassment to rape, and still come out ahead:

[The gropees'] experiences with Schwarzenegger were double humiliations. First they suffered through the acts themselves: demeaning-often public-groping, unwanted, invasive kisses, crude, belittling comments.

Far worse, they felt forced by circumstance to let Schwarzenegger behave badly--like an over-indulged toddler, as one woman put it. A complaint against the bigger-than-life moneymaker could tank their careers. Not a single woman felt anyone would have taken their side or chastised the star.

And they were right.

Election Day arrived and Schwarzenegger was elected by a wide margin. The Los Angeles Times was castigated for smearing Schwarzenegger close to the election. Ten thousand readers cancelled their subscriptions. I received a string of vicious calls and emails. The women were branded as liars desperate for a share of fame.

For further reading (we know you want it), see "Arnold Schwarzenegger's lies have a familiar ring," in which the Times' catty Steve Lopez shows how the love-child coverup is a sad reflection of Schwarzenegger's cheap, ego-driven stint as California governor. Really though -- how did we not see this coming?

[Source : blogs.laweekly.com]